Do You Know What Relationship Health Is?
TOPICS
Relationship Health
Myths
Stories
Defining & Demystifying Relationship Health Myths
MYTH 1: I don’t need relationships to live.
Being alone is so much easier than dealing with people. I’d love to live alone with my cat, or in a cabin in the woods where no one can find me — like those monks or hermits you hear about. I bet they’re happy. I think that’s where I’d finally be happy.
FALSE. Human beings need three things — water, food and social connection. There’s a reason prisoners are thrown into solitary confinement as the steepest and most brutal form of punishment a corrections facility can allow. It’s because they know that without our relationships, we wither away — we lose our sense of self, our sense of purpose, our sanity and even our life.
MYTH 2: Relationship health is only for people who are in a couple.
If I don’t have a significant other, then I don’t need to invest any energy into upkeeping my relationships. Relationships are just fun things I engage with between work and sleep.
FALSE. Relationship health is for everyone. Whether you are dating casually, in a sexual relationship, in an open relationship, in a polyamorous relationship, in a monogamous coupling or even just playing the field — your relationships are complex, unique, living and breathing, beautifully intricate ecosystems. Romantic relationships, in all their forms, need nourishment, care, attention and upkeep in the very same way your mental health does.
MYTH 3: My social relationships have no bearing on my physical health or length of life.
If I eat right, hit the gym, and get 8 hours of sleep, I’ll live a long time. Who needs people, am I right?
FALSE. Actually, relationships are the #1 variable for determining your quality of life and longevity according to Harvard University’s 85 year long study investigating what helps people live their longest and best lives. Over and above sleep, diet, and even income — it was relationships that determined someone’s happiness and length of life.
MYTH 4: Relationships should be easy.
I shouldn’t have to spend a ton of time on my relationship. If it gets hard, I’m out.
FALSE. Every relationship needs nurturing — in the wise words of DMX, you must tend to your connections in the same way you might regularly water your garden, or a flower. But here’s why it might FEEL hard — because no one has ever taught you how to do this, and no organization has ever developed a platform to help you take care to your relationships. That’s what my team and I are building.
MYTH 5: Having less stressful or toxic relationship dynamics in my life will lengthen my time spent on earth.
My mom always told me to find a partner who makes me happy. She would always say “be each other’s peace” — was she right?
TRUE. Again, Harvard’s 85 year long study found that those who were happiest in their social relationships lived longest. This is officially your sign to ditch the toxic relationship, ex or significant other making your life more stressful than it needs to be. Alternatively, if you’re the toxic one — this is your wake up call to self reflect and begin your healing journey. Either way, it’s certainly time to download VLVT.